so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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