It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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