doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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