I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
