I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
