I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
