As long as you're not dating white guys again.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
