College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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