Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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