Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Acid is not a monday night drug
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
