Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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