Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
