my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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