seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize