haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
