dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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