I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I think my moral compass just broke
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