Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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