CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
