I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
