In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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