I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
