Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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