she looked like the before picture.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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