her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
two words: eviction party
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
