doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
