Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize