I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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