i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
