Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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