She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize