sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
