Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
