I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
