That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
