I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Help. Why am I so naked?
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