You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
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