I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
So many bounce houses so little time
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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