Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
