shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
