The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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