As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
