I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
