Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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