I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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