garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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