Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
my shit smells like andre
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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