There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
