No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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