i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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