I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
