sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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