I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
