It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
