Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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