Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
someone owes me an orgasm
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
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