Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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