thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Nicole vs. Life
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
