Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
