these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
