I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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